(NPCs, a girl and her mother, at the corner of town)

Girl: I'm serious! I saw it the moment she glanced at that Meowth!

Mom: Do you mean Je? As in, the slow psychic-type gym leader?
She barely looks like she could go a half a kilo an hour with how slow she walks!

Girl: No, but I saw her looking at it, and when she took off her blanket...
It was like she was a different person! Sprinting at it faster than a track and field star!

Mom: Look, just because her Pokemon can make slower things faster doesn't mean she can just do that for herself all willy-nilly!

(A stray Gaylissean Meowth sits nears them...)

Meowth: Mee-ow.
(It seems shook up, like it spent some time recently trying to run from something.)


(gym intro)

Ref: Welcome, challenger, to the psychic-type gym challenge! This will quiz your knowledge of Pokemon and speed!
As you must already know, who moves first in Pokemon is determined by their speed.
However, what you may not know is of all the ways moves and effects can change that order!
During these doubles battles, we will ask questions about which Pokemon will go first.
Answer correctly, and you will be shielded from all critical hits. Answer incorrectly, and your opponent will be more likely to land them!
Choose carefully, trainer!


Max: I'll set the stage for the first question. I tried to make it easy for you, so don't mess it up!

[GYM TRAINER MAX SENDS OUT MR. MIME AND ORANGURU]

Ref: Question one!
Of these two Pokemon, who will strike first?
(CORRECT ANSWER: MR MIME) Correct! Mr. Mime is the faster of these two Pokemon.

Max [post-loss]: Was it too easy for you?


Fleur: Alright, time to start getting to the more complicated stuff. Hope you're ready!

[GYM TRAINER FLEUR SENDS OUT MEDICHAM AND GALARIAN-RAPIDASH]

Ref: Question two!
If Rapidash were to use Zen Headbutt, and Medicham were to use Vacuum Wave, who would go first?
(CORRECT ANSWER: MEDICHAM) Correct! Even though Rapidash is faster, even a slow priority attack such as Vacuum Wave goes before a speedy regular attack.

Fleur [post-loss]: Aw, you still got me.


Evi: This is where we test your real knowledge in battle. Be prepared for anything!

[GYM TRAINER EVI SENDS OUT MUSHARNA AND SWOOBAT]

Ref: Question three!
If Musharna were to use Psychic, and Swoobat were to use Trick Room, who would go first?
(CORRECT ANSWER: MUSHARNA) Correct! No matter what, Trick Room will always go last in a turn.

(swoobat uses trick room; dimensions twisted)

Ref: Final question!
If the dimensions are twisted and both Musharna and Swoobat use Psychic, who will go first?

[Musharna] [Swoobat] [Je seeing a cute Pokemon]

Ref: (CORRECT ANSWER: MUSHARNA) Correct! Musharna is slower, and under the effects of Trick Room, the slowest Pokemon moves first!
(ALSO CORRECT ANSWER: JE) Wait, you've seen her run like that too!?
E-er, I mean... well, she can run pretty fast, and humans do seem to be unaffected by Trick Room, so I'll count this as correct.

Evi [post-loss]: Hm. Perhaps you do have a chance against our leader...


(in the gym, walking down the field as Je takes ten light years to get to the center)

Je: Ooooooof.
Maybe shouldn't've tried pettin' that Meowth... back hurty.
Hopefully I'll get a bath once I'm back home. Baths make things feel better, I think.
I'll just make this quick f'r myself and then I can go home and rest a whole lot...
...
...
...
Oh! Hello again, little child person. Guess I need to beatcha to get my bath, huh.

(battle starts with Je lazily walking into position, back facing the player)

Je: Well, if I gotta get this over with quickly...

(she stands still, eyes closed...)

Je: S'pose I'll just make all my slowest Pokemon outspeed yours.

(and then suddenly, her eyes bulge out, as she stands and throws away the blanket to the crowd, revealing a massive, toothy grin in the process, and starts getting hyperactive and moving around everywhere.)

Je: I'll have this done in six turns or less. Don't keep me waiting, child!


[GYM LEADER JE WANTS TO FIGHT!]

Indeedee-F (F) @ Focus Sash  
Ability: Psychic Surge  
- Follow Me  
- Heal Pulse  
- Helping Hand  
- Psychic  

Gay-Purrserker @ Leftovers
Ability: Anticipation
- Trick Room
- Iron Head
- Psycho Cut
- Parting Shot

Sigilyph @ Sitrus Berry  
Ability: Tinted Lens  
- Trick Room  
- Psyshock  
- Air Slash  
- Whirlwind  

Reuniclus @ Life Orb  
Ability: Magic Guard  
- Trick Room  
- Focus Blast  
- Psychic  
- Shadow Ball  

(when trick room is up and one of Je's pokemon goes first)

Je: Surprised, child? This is the culmination of slow power becoming breakneck speed!

(two pokemon down, reuniclus comes out)

Je: So long as I still have the power to control speed, I will not fail!

(and then she proceeds to throw the gigamax ball by just literally fucking punting that shit up there)

Je: Reuniclus and I will go full-throttle as long as necessary... Go, G-Max Cultivate!


Gigantamax Reuniclus: A large petri dish that floats in the air; eyes are at the bottom looking through the glass, with two bulbous arms above for attacks.

"Gigantamaxing is so strong for this Pokemon, it must quickly build its own thin protection out of crystalized energy to ensure it doesn't crush under its own power."
"It was said that the invention of the petri dish came about after a scientist had seen the clear protective surface this forme sits on."

G-Max Cultivate [PSYCHIC]: Leech seeds the opponent's side of the field after attack.


(post-loss, she trips to the ground and rubs her back, as a crowd member helpfully throws her blanket directly over top of her)

Je: Eh? Aw, jeez...

(fluffs her blanket back into looking like a cape, she goes back to looking all sleepy, sitting up and walking slowly towards the challenger.)

Je: Whoof. Doin' that bit's already a bit tiring f'r me when I'm winning, but you made it even tougher taking so long.
Little chi--no, challenger. S'pose you deserve that title, at least. Allow me to give you this.

[YOU GOT THE TWISTED BADGE!]

Je: Gosh, that was a rush. Wait, s'that a good rush?
Ohhhh wait I think this is the kind where all the blood rushes t'your head and...

(Je falls to the ground, fade to black)


(fade back into waiting area, where the three gym trainers are surrounding j, who's still sitting down)

Max: sigh What did we say about overexerting yourself like that?

Je: That doing too much makes the body go bad?

Evi: I'm confident we said it more elegantly than that, but yes.
I know some challengers get you heated and all, but you need to stop pushing yourself.

Je: But I don't mean'ta...

(fleur turns around to the challenger, looking on nearby)

Fleur: Sorry about that. She likes to make it seem like it's some psychic energy making her do all that stuff during the battle, but really, she just enjoys putting on a show.
I swear, we're supposed to be training under her, but half the time she's just taking advice and help from us...
Oh, I'm guessing she couldn't give you the TM for this gym? I'll do that for you now.

[YOU GOT TMWLW - Trick Room]

Fleur: I'm sure I don't need to explain what Trick Room does after all that, right? Set it up, and suddenly your slowest, bulkiest Pokemon will outspeed the competition!

Max: Much like our leader pretends to, regrettably.

Je: Slow leader stays slow for now, thank youuuu.

Evi: Fleur, could you help bring her home? We ought to not trust her to do that herself.

Fleur: Right. Apologies, trainer, but we must get going.


(after leaving the gym, a very short man appears before the challenger, flying down from the back of a Charizard, and walks towards them)

???: Excuse me, I was told the gym leader here had collapsed after a fight.
Could you tell me where she went?

[She's heading home.] [She already left.]

???: Ah, her trainers likely had to help her back home again, didn't they. I suppose I can just give her supplies later.
Guess I don't need to be the protective older brother all the time, with folks like them around.

[Brother...?] [Older...???]

Hec: Oh, where are my manners? Hec, member of the Elite Four. Pleased to meet you.
I know, me being the older one might sound surprising, but it's the truth.
She isn't old or so sickly she can't move, or anything of that sort, her collapsing is just what happens when someone gets hyperactive for too long.
And also wanders for hours on end. And forgets to eat, sometimes.
...On second thought, maybe I should catch up with her now.
Ah, but before I do, you can have this.

[YOU GOT TMW/E - FLY]

Hec: This region already has ways to let you be transported from city to city, but having a Pokemon you trust do it for you is always nice.

Charizard: Groooaaaar!

Hec: Right, I need to go. I hope to see you again, challenger!

(hec hops back on the charizard, and flies off)


(should you walk to the top floor of a certain apartment building, you can find the four in their living room together, with Je curled up in her blanket on the couch. talking to each of them one by one...)

Je: Hee. I have the bestest friends n' roommates there ever was, doin' all this for me.

[Roommates?] [Best Friends?]

Je: Yeah? The Gym Challenge folk told me t'pick the three strongest trainers I knew when I first got this gym.
Aaaand 'cuz I made friends with a local battlin' group when I first moved here, I already knew the best this city's got. Easy peasy.
Then we all started gettin' paid together, and then it was jus' easier to put all our money together, so we ended up all movin' into one place.
They're... real kind and selfless folk. I feel like such a child next to them, but they've still done their best f'r me.
I know you might see 'em as pushovers, what with how easily you beat me, but I love 'em a whole lot, so don't go makin' fun of 'em, okay, challenger?

(fleur is sitting on the floor, looking quite tired)

Fleur: Whoooooof. it's always a bit of a workout getting her back home.
It definitely costed us a fortune to live here of all places, but thank goodness we have an elevator.
If we had to haul that poor girl up flights of stairs like I used to back when I'd find her knocked out in the park, my arms would've been noodles by now.
...Or maybe I would've been even more buff than I am! Oh, that would be great!
Hey, Je, think I could use you for lifting practice sometime?

Je: Um, c'n we do it in a way that won't get us concussed if you slip?

Fleur: O-oh, right, good point. Maybe just on a bench.

(evi is tapping her feet frantically nearby, looking upset)

Evi: Honestly, this woman's lucky us three are as strong as we are, because if it were anyone else in this city, she would not be so well tolerated.

[Do you not like her?] [Then why do it for her?]

Evi: That's not...
[sigh] No, we do this for her because we like her far too much, quite frankly.
Even if I'd want to hate her, she's far too kind and well-intended for me to ever cross that line. She's a very endearing girl, isn't she?
And it's not as if we don't have our own quirks to deal with. It's never fair to single out someone's issues simply because they're honest with them, after all.

(and Max is sitting next to Je, looking through a shopping bag)

Max: Apples, milk, protein powder...
Ah, you must be the challenger. Je's brother mentioned you, he just passed by.
He brought quite a lot of groceries for us, knowing she'd need some after a battle like that. He's a kind soul.
Though, we should be getting groceries ourselves, since we have four different people who could do it, but someone keeps forgetting.

Evi: I-it was an accident! I was distracted in my training all week!
A-and it's not as if you didn't forget last week!

Max: [sigh] Well, at least someone in Je's life knows how to be responsible, even if it isn't us.